A friend of mine and incredible writer/blogger wrote this perfect blog post a couple months back that I can totally relate with. I loved it then, but today I found myself thinking of it again as I remember a certain Mother's Day before I was a mom:
It was the year before Harper was born, and one of my friends, a mother of 3 very young children, asked for a night away for Mother's Day. I remember thinking how sad that she would want time away from her kids on Mother's Day. I would want to be with my kids on that special day, lavished with hugs and kisses and homemade cards and breakfast in bed with cuddles from my cuties. Because in my inexperienced mind, that's what Mother's Day looked like. How could anyone want to pass up such a perfect day?
When my first Mother's Day was approaching, I was so excited! I had dreamt about being a mom and finally I was getting to experience this beautiful holiday for the first time. But to be honest, it felt more like Groundhog Day than Mother's Day. It felt just like the day before...because my 4 month old had no idea it was a special day for me, and my husband had recently been in a mountain biking accident and was laid up on the couch with pain medicine, unable to do much of anything. He did his best, having friends make and deliver breakfast and a gift for me. But my baby needed to nurse in the night, and she woke up early, and the dogs needed to be fed, and the dishes had to be done, and my injured husband was in a lot of pain and needed a lot of help throughout the day.
It wasn't that it was an exceptionally bad day, it's that it was just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. I have no idea now, looking back, why in the world I expected a 4 month old to be any different on that day. And now 5 years later, realizing that only now does Harper really get it and get excited about celebrating mommy!
Since then I have received some really nice gifts from my husband and a few adorable homemade cards on this special day. I've also been nursing or pregnant, changed diapers, cleaned up spills and messes, and gone grocery shopping on this day, too. Because I have 3 kids aged 5 and under.
This year, when Chris asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, I said sleep. Foster has been a challenge at night, and he is just starting to sleep through the night again. Kinley has been waking up in the middle of the night with a bad dream a couple nights a week. And without fail, if by some miracle all 3 of my kids sleep silently through the night, one of our pets wakes me up. Two nights ago, it was our cat...jumping on my feet and lightly biting my toes, wanting to be let outside to go chase tiny nocturnal animals.
I knew Chris was planning something, although my expectations were pretty low since he just had surgery two days ago. (THE surgery, so no more red headed babies from us by the way...it's ok, take a minute to mourn before you read on if need be...) He had me pack up the girls and take them to Nana's house for a sleep over, and a sitter was on her way to watch Foster so that we could go out for dinner. After a nice dinner, just the two of us, Chris took me to watch the sunset at the Prescott Resort. It sits on top of a big hill, overlooking the gorgeous Prescott scenery with a beautiful view of the sunset over Thumb Butte. Then he handed me my gift, a room key just for me! He had my clothes packed and a bottle of wine, my favorite snacks, and a box of yummy chocolates waiting for me in my room. He even used money he'd saved to pay for it, so I wouldn't be worried about how much it was costing us.
So here I sit, hypocritically enjoying THE best Mother's Day gift I have ever received: alone time and a night of uninterrupted, blissfully quiet, comfy SLEEP! I'm sitting in this giant, soft hotel bed, after finishing an omelette of my choice delivered straight to my room, drinking coffee and blogging without a single distraction.
Now I get it! Wanting some time for yourself doesn't make you a bad mom, you want time for yourself because you're such a great mom! Because as moms, we wake up easily, we comfort our crying kids no matter what day it is, we style hair, we clean clothes, we throw parties, we cook and clean and do. We wipe butts, we clean toilets, we collect boogers in tissues, we often eat cold meals, we sometimes entertain little ones even while going to the bathroom. We sacrifice and love and give and serve. Some days are hard and there are plenty of days where I just want to run into my room and lock the door and hide under my pillow. We are far from perfect, but we are also pretty awesome! And that friend of mine I so unfairly judged years ago, let me tell you, she's one of the best moms I know!
Enjoy today, whether your kids are old enough to pamper you and appreciate you and tell you how much they love you, or if your kids are much older and live far away and you feel a bit lonely today, or if your kids are tiny, incredibly needy, and follow you into the bathroom today. If at all possible, take a minute, or an hour, or whatever you can, for yourself.
It's check-out time now, which means it's time to see my kids now. And I can't wait to see them, squeeze them, and even feed them! I can't wait to hug my husband and thank him and tell him how refreshed I feel. And I'm excited to see my mom, bring her some lunch, give her the gift my sisters and I got for her, and tell her how grateful I am for all her sacrifice, love, and selflessness.
To all of my friends and family who have mentored me, influenced me, inspired me, comforted me, or had any part in helping me to be the mother I am today, thank you. Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there. And to those of you who got a little baby poop on your finger today, you know who you are, happy Mother's Day. You're amazing!
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