Parenting: Finding Balance

Balance is so critical in life, yet very hard to achieve. It takes thought, consideration, effort. Balance in parenting is no exception, either in importance or difficulty.

Last night as my kids sat down for dinner, they looked at their plates and said they didn't like it, without even taking a bite. It was a new meal that they had never tried before. 

They used to be the best eaters! But over the last few weeks, both girls have started pushing back at mealtimes, complaining about their food and whining and attempting to refuse to try something new. So last night I gave them a choice: eat it now or for breakfast in the morning. Either way, this food will be the next thing you eat. 

They both chose breakfast and happily got ready for bed. This morning when I called them to the table for breakfast, their favorite meal of the day, they dropped everything and rushed over. Their little faces fell, however, after seeing what was in front of them: their dinner, long forgotten by them, but not by me. 

I posted this picture of them begrudgingly eating on Facebook, and one of my friends commented, empathizing with the girls. She said her parents would make them sit for hours, literally, until they had finished every bite of food, even though it was something she genuinely didn't like. It stuck with her, and is something she never wants to do to her kids. 

Now let me say, her comment was very respectful, and I believe her feelings on the issue are completely valid. I think this is where balance is key.

I would be lying if I said I never make my kids eat something they don't like. They have to try everything, and usually they have to eat more than one bite. But if they try it and don't like it, they may only have to eat 5 bites as opposed to the whole serving. 

We all probably have something from our childhood that we wouldn't want to repeat with our own kids. With me, it's making my kids dress a certain way. My mom hated the clothes I picked out because they didn't match. Honestly, they didn't even come close! But she would tell me that it looked bad and make me change. To this day I'm still not the most confident when it comes to picking out what I'm going to buy/wear. 

So we let our kids pick out their own clothes. And sometimes that's really hard! But again, there has to be balance. My kids don't read the weather. They may need guidance as far as how to dress appropriately...long sleeves vs. short sleeves, leggings under a dress that's too short. And there are 3 days that are completely mine: Easter, Christmas pics, and picture day at school. (A mom's gotta have a little fun, ya know?)

They can have all the rest, and they do. They love picking out their fashion, and we love when they hide in their room picking out the perfect combinations, then parade out to us and pose, so proud of what they've put together. 

The scary thing of course, is knowing that there will be something that we get wrong as parents. Some area where we won't find that balance. (Well, many somethings more like...)

My mom never intended to hurt my feelings. She was trying to keep me from getting picked on in school. Chances are good that my friend's parents weren't trying to torture her, but rather trying to teach her to not be wasteful. 

What will it be for me? What is it that I will say or do that will stick with my kids in a negative way? I won't always get it right, because I'm human.

But I can try, and pray for wisdom to find balance and grace when I don't. And that I would show grace to myself and others, as we all try to make the right choices for our children.